Super-heroes are a funny lot. They vary greatly in power, respect, and ability. None, however, is more daring, more amazing or more astounding than Arm-Fall-Off Boy.

Who is Arm-Fall-Off Boy, you ask? What secret does this dashing man of mystery hold? I’ll tell you…

Uhhh. None.

Back when the Legion of Super-Heroes was, well, a bit sillier, they had try-outs. The Legion try-outs were known for the absurd. Every other goofy comic book try-out is based, in part, on them. From that scene in Mystery Men to uhhh some other thing very much like it, yeah.

Arm-Fall-Off Boy is the pinnacle of this whole process.

Sure Infectious Lass sounds like a candidate. Maybe you think Color Kid is the oddest of the odd (the ability to, uhm, change the color of things isn’t exactly world shaking…), I don’t know. I just know you are wrong. For Arm-Fall-Off Boy is the best of the best. The coolest of the cool.

You see, if you didn’t get it, his arm falls off! Well, all right, it doesn’t fall off so much as he tears it off. But he can turn his arm into a club, wielded by his other arm! He can use both arms this way, but I would think not at the same time. Still!

Versatility in limb removal, thy name is Arm-Fall-Off Boy!

With a powerful PLORP! his arm comes off! With a mighty KRAK! it hits the table and demonstrates his unending ability to tear off his arms and hit people with them. Sure, his shoulder looks like an asshole. No, I don’t know why his gloves are elbow high French Ticklers. Those things are not the point!

Arm-Fall-Off Boy, although denied membership into the Legion of Super-Heroes (Legion of Stupid Heroes if they didn’t take Arm-Fall-Off Boy), he still, I am sure, patrols the galaxy keeping everyone safe.

With his purple one piece leotard and pointy hat. Don’t forget his oddly rock shaded legs. Those might be boots. Or leggings?

The battle cry of “HA-YAAAA!” lets villains everywhere know to die! “Die, I say! DIE! HA-YAAAA!”

Anyway. Yeah. Arm-Fall-Off Boy. Plorp. Genius.

Now, as any fan of the Legion of Super-Heroes will know, the Legion reboots its own continuity like clockwork. Christ they refer to them as volumes, and there is even a Volume 4.5! I mean, look, when you have to rock out with the point upgrade method for your own continuity, you are fucking hardcore.

But anyway. Yeah so the Legion rebooted in the 90s and who showed up not once but twice? Arm-Fall-... oh wait they changed him. Splitter, as he was then known, could separate all four of his limbs from his body. They showed him, the first time, flying through space (in the future everyone just flies through space, deal with that) while his arms and legs plorped right off. How they kept up, we will never know.

The one thing I don't think we've ever seen though, is Arm-Fall-Off Boy/Splitter actually fight any crime. While as Splitter he was a member of a team (Not the Legion, the Heroes of Llalor. Not Llama, Llalor.), he didn't do anything, if I remember right.

I'd like to think he was simply to amazing to be shown fighting because he would instantly make you realize that none of the other super heroes mattered at all, with their weak powers like throwing lightning or controlling God's testicles (Listen, God's Testicles Boy was never shown, but you know he was out there) or some shit.

But then I remember who I'm talking about. 'Cause Arm-Fall-Off Boy might've been rocking the... he could've... I mean he really... no, all right, Arm-Fall-Off Boy is just painfully funny, isn't he?

Christ. I should do a series of spotlights just on Legion members. But I won't because they don't get better than Arm-Fall-Off Boy. Except for one. One member. But I'll do him soon.

Anyway. Arm-Fall-Off Boy. Yeah, we don't know what his real name was, or if everyone on his planet had the same power (a standard thing in the Legion) or anything about him. Except that he fought crime by hitting people with his own severed limbs.

And that, my friends, is enough for me to go on.

*****
Author's Note: I know the caption picture has it spelled “villian.” So does the comic panel. I was being faithful to what they put in the word balloon.